problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
You may now shotgun with the bride
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
