I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
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I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
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I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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