Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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