By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
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The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
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I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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