Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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