Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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