you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
