Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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