her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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