Got a toothbrush?
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
