just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
