$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize
