I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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