I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
