I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Dignity is for republicans.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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