Sry I called you an 8
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
