I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
