therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
