pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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