Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
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Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
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I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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