How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
