here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
