the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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