I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
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