it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
