I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
This beer is not sobering me up at all
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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