Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize
