She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
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