did you get engaged???
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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