probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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