You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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