How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I am spending my child support on dildos
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
