the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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