You work out of a Hotel?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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