this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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