i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
