hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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