she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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