What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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