You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
