if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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