called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
