ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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