4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
