You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
