I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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