Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
