There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
