They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
