Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
