I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
