I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
