Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
