Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize
