Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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