Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Randomize
