I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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