This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
