You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
