Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
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