Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I think I have vodka in my lungs
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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