hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
