i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
