I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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