How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Randomize
