There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
