We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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