I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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