So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Randomize
