Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
